Our rules determine the quality of our experiences...
This conversation is complex and a couple of blog posts won't do it justice, by any measure. But, I feel compelled to explain it further, since this is the first time most of you have considered this philosophy. I'll do the best I can to give you enough information to, at least, ease the burden that comes with wanting more. I'll begin with expounding upon the rules discussion. Then, I want to spend some time on the spiritual aspect of our journey together, since we've focused so much energy on the process of achievement. I don't want to lose the big picture, here.
At every moment, our brains are asking "what does this mean?". This is how our brain analyzes everything. Somebody smiles at us at the gym -- brain says "what does this mean?". Our rules give us our answer...this person's happy and approves of us. Cool, we get pleasure from that. So, we smile back. Conversely, that same person gives us a nasty glance and looks away. Our brains say "what does this mean?". Our rules say hey, people who look at us this way have a problem with us, they don't approve. The result we get is some level of pain, as we start running through recollections of what may be driving this reaction from her.
Another example: I have a friend who's a gym rat, we'll call him Fitboy. He's in great shape, works out two hours a day during the week, doing strength training and high intensity cardio. The dude's ripped and is a machine. I've got another friend...actually, a family member, who's sort of the opposite. She's not in great shape. She's not obese or anything, but she's not at all where she wants to be. She's overweight, for sure, and is accutely aware of how fit our mutual friend is. Let's call her Unfit Girl. In conversation, the UG tells me how lucky he is that he's got the "workout gene", and that she just doesn't have it. She says she has to struggle to get into the gym every time she does decide to go, while fitboy doesn't have those struggles. This is a great example of how our rules determine our lifestyle. Unfit girl's rules tell her the gym is optional. They tell her it's hard for her, and it's going to be tough. She doesn't really have to go, because she's unlucky and it's just plain hard. If she does go, well, that's great. Fitboy has different rules. His say "I have to go to the gym and bust ass every day, Monday through Friday". His rules also say "I eat for fuel, not for emotional reasons". So, when Fitboy doesn't go to the gym, his brain lays on the pain. He feels terrible about himself. When Unfit Girl doesn't go, her rules tell her it's ok. It's ok because she wasn't born with the workout gene, the way Fitboy was. She's destined to be fat. He's destined to be ripped. No doubt about it.
This is how our rules work in our every day lives. They're guiding our behavior minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day. It's a constant process of asking ourselves "what does this mean?". This dictates our moods(states), it dictates our actions, which produces our lifestyle.
Now, there's much more to all of this than just our outcomes, in the physical sense. This is what I want to cover in today's post. Throughout 90 Days, we've focused on our visions, and what we need to do on a day to day basis to make them real....which is awesome. I'm in 100%. But, I need to make sure we're all keeping the big picture in focus here.
The readers and/or participants of 90 Days to Discipline are accutely aware of their aspirations. We spend a great deal of time focusing on what we want...what we want to become, build, create, have, do...We have achieved clarity in knowing where we're headed. Consequently, we are also aware of our shortcomings. The commitment to the Simple Disciplines we've outlined for each of us is tough. We don't always have the energy, desire, or the inclination to execute all of these high-level tasks every single day. It's tough, and can be down right brutal at times. When I fail to follow through on even one of my Simple Disciplines, my brain gives me some level of pain...a good thing ultimately, this is how we develop discipline and good habits. But, we have to be careful in the process...
The day may come in which one of us or some of us, can not do some of these fundamental tasks we've committed to doing. An injury or an illness could prevent us from being able to strength train or run. That same injury could keep us from being able to work, ever again if the deal is serious enough. What I'm trying to say is that we can't necessarily define ourselves through our actions.
We are more than just physical beings who produce, consume, set goals and reach them. We are spiritual beings, and we must all explore this side of ourselves, because in the end, the physical realm won't matter. We won't care what kind of car we drove, or how big our house was. The size of our investment portfolio will be secondary to the more important aspects, like were we good people? Our last days will be spent reflecting on the things that truly matter. I can promise you I won't be picturing my Aston Martin when I'm sitting in my rocking chair in Florida, at age 88. No, I'll be thinking about the people I love and the times we've spent together. I'll be thinking of some of the folks I've wronged, over the years. I will be, hopefully, sharing memories of trips, vacations, and great experiences with my children and their children and maybe their children. Our relationships and our contribution are what will truly matter in the end.
The ancient Egyptians had a pretty neat belief about death. They believed that when a person died and her eternal fate was being determined, as to where she spent eternity, she was asked two questions. Her answers determined whether she got into heaven or would be condemned to hell. The questions were...Did your life bring you joy? The second, a bit more telling...did your life bring joy to others? Reflection like this makes me realize that our goals are just something we do...they're not who we are. A man can go out and achieve the most amazing success in the physical...cars, mansions, hundreds of millions of dollars, power, fame, whatever..and still be an empty sole. Look around, we see this everywhere in our pop culture, in which we lift these celebs up as heros, yet they're despicable human beings. They seem to have life by the short hairs...money, fame, everything, yet they can't stand to look themselves in the mirror.
I'm still going to go out today and kick seven shades of ass in my business. I'm still going to lift until my arms tear apart and run into my lungs burst into flames. I'm still going to build my businesses and my income so that my family can live insanely fun lives. But, the focus is going to be on becoming the best man I can become, for what I can give back and contribute...not for what I can obtain. If I were to lose all of my material wealth, I'd still be the man I am today, and nobody can or will ever take that away from me.
90 Days to Discipline is a commitment we've made to ourselves. It's about knowing what we want, being crystal clear about it, so we can create a roadmap to get us there. This sort of clarity creates a sense of purpose inside each of us. This purpose will drive us to become the best version of ourselves we can be. The self-discipline and belief in ourselves will lift us to great heights within our own minds. And if a day comes when we're no longer able to do some of the things we've grown accustomed to doing, it simply won't matter to us. Our inner courage and strength will define us. Of course we will have manifested success in the physical realm, and I'll never apologize for that. Hell, I want my family to have the best in life and experience everything life has to offer. There's absolutely no shame in wanting the best. The difference is we won't let that material success define us. Our strength, discipline, and courage to be ourselves, at all costs will always define this group.
Flip the Switch
Flip the Switch
No comments:
Post a Comment