Be Better Man

We are the Captains of our own ship...and we've got lots of people counting on us. Give them your best, they deserve it.

I can remember a time, not so long ago, when I was sitting back on our couch on a Satuday, almost laying down. Saturday afternoon, about two o clock, and both of my boys were pulling at me, wanting me to come outside and play basketball with them. They wanted to play a game of 3-way twenty one. I'm hesitant to outline this scenario because it's embarrassing and completely ridiculous. They approached me with excitement in their eyes, but, at the same time, they were borderline fearful to ask me to get off the couch. My oldest son is extremely intuitive and reads people's emotions/intentions almost too well. Needless to say, he had a feeling, based on experience, what my answer was going to be.

They asked me to come join their game and I refused, politely. My youngest asked why, and I gave some bullshit excuse, saying I was tired from working so hard this week or some crap like that. They walked away, defeated. What a chickenshit I was in this circumstance.

The bottom line is that our responsibilities as a husband and father go way beyond bringing home the bacon. Providing is important, please don't misunderstand. But, it's the baseline responsibility we have. If we desire to be a good father, we have to be involved. Each person in our families have their own lives, filled with different interests, desires, goals, likes and dislikes. We must plug in to each person, find out what their deal is, and become a part of it, just if we want to be a "good" father and husband.

If we strive to be great, we must take it several steps further than being good. We've got to make each person in the house a part of our system. We have a system for managing our careers, sales territories, our small businesses, etc. We have a system for obtaining the results we want in the health and fitness side of our lives. We have a system of saving and investing our money, so that we can retire or do, be, or have certain things. To become a great husband and father, we have to also be systemic in this role as well...

As a husband, there are certain actions I take on a daily basis, to make sure I'm winning the mind and heart of my wife every single day. First, I answer her calls during my day, whenever possible. I don't screen her calls, as that makes her self-conscious. A self-conscious woman is a dangerous thing. We don't want any part of that. Next, as soon as I walk through the door, I embrace her as though she's the single greatest wife in the world. This sort of enthusiasm puts her up on a pedestal immediately, and she'll start to eagerly anticipate your returning home, which is great for us. Then, throughout the evening, my role becomes helping her with her roles, while leading her toward a calm, positive existence...showing her how to handle the conflicts with the kids, the stresses of a household, with calm and grace, instead of with emotional reaction.

As a father, I embrace my kids with the same enthusiasm. Same results with the kids..they are lifted up by our presence. Next, I spend at least 20 minutes with each of them, pouring all of my focus into every word that comes out of their mouths. They talk about school, friends, challenges throughout the day, etc. This gives me an incredible opportunity to coach them on almost every major coaching opportunity that's arisen during their day. We talk, actually, they talk, and I listen...intently, as if they're the most important person in the world. Now, I know exactly what's going on in their individual lives, I can coach them along the way, and they know I am plugged in with everything they have going on. What a deal.

Our energy level is what is going to afford us the energy it takes to be this disciplined and enthusiastic at the end of a long work day. That being said, we have to get our butts to the gym and work extremely hard. At the same time, we have to eat clean and limit sugar, so we don't crash and burn as soon as we get home at night. We've been blessed with amazing families...we can't take them for granted, or we'll lose them.

Give them your best. Give your career your best, so that you can provide them with everything this life has to offer. But, ultimately, all they really care about is you...your time and your attention.

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